36 pounds of M&Ms
18,000. I keep trying to picture that number.
How many is that? It is so meaningless, so big. It is a much of a much. It's like this tribe I once heard of that could only count 1, 2, 3, 4, many. 18,000 is many. Many many. And growing. The number is growing. First I heard 10,000. Today I heard 18,000. Who knows what the number will be when you are reading this. 20,000? How do I comprehend that in a way I can understand? 20,000 paper clips weigh 45 pounds. 45 pounds of paper clips. The number is too big. The location too far away.
When my son can't breath and we rush him to the hospital, I ache with a deep emotional pain. When my wife cries in agony from a broken back, I try not to scream out in anguish that the one I love so much lives with this daily torture. When I read a blog about someone's daughter that was raped, I weep in sympathy. But 20,000? I can't grasp it. Calories are a number I understand. 20,000 calories is 66 McDonald's cheeseburgers. Or 357 cups of Brussel sprouts. It's too many, it's too impersonal. I can't comfort. I can't leave an encouraging blog post on someone's website. I can't worry at a bedside. So many people. It's too much.
Then I think of Elpie. And Marie. And Precy and her husband and family. And it becomes real. 18,000 dead and counting. It's roughly 7 times the fatalities on September 11th. I feel the same helplessness I felt then. I cannot go. I have little to give. I have been so blessed, so richly blessed, but what can I do? Dear God, please have mercy on the Philippines. And on the others displaced, damaged, and destroyed throughout the world. And show me how I can serve. Show me how to be your hands and feet.
Update: Since I wrote this post the number of fatalities has been downgraded. They are reporting around 4,000. This is much smaller, and for that I am thankful. It is still such a staggering number to me. I keep praying that God will comfort those families and show me how to do a better job of blessing those in need.
How many is that? It is so meaningless, so big. It is a much of a much. It's like this tribe I once heard of that could only count 1, 2, 3, 4, many. 18,000 is many. Many many. And growing. The number is growing. First I heard 10,000. Today I heard 18,000. Who knows what the number will be when you are reading this. 20,000? How do I comprehend that in a way I can understand? 20,000 paper clips weigh 45 pounds. 45 pounds of paper clips. The number is too big. The location too far away.
When my son can't breath and we rush him to the hospital, I ache with a deep emotional pain. When my wife cries in agony from a broken back, I try not to scream out in anguish that the one I love so much lives with this daily torture. When I read a blog about someone's daughter that was raped, I weep in sympathy. But 20,000? I can't grasp it. Calories are a number I understand. 20,000 calories is 66 McDonald's cheeseburgers. Or 357 cups of Brussel sprouts. It's too many, it's too impersonal. I can't comfort. I can't leave an encouraging blog post on someone's website. I can't worry at a bedside. So many people. It's too much.
Then I think of Elpie. And Marie. And Precy and her husband and family. And it becomes real. 18,000 dead and counting. It's roughly 7 times the fatalities on September 11th. I feel the same helplessness I felt then. I cannot go. I have little to give. I have been so blessed, so richly blessed, but what can I do? Dear God, please have mercy on the Philippines. And on the others displaced, damaged, and destroyed throughout the world. And show me how I can serve. Show me how to be your hands and feet.
Update: Since I wrote this post the number of fatalities has been downgraded. They are reporting around 4,000. This is much smaller, and for that I am thankful. It is still such a staggering number to me. I keep praying that God will comfort those families and show me how to do a better job of blessing those in need.
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